SESSION TITLE: NVC AND SOCIAL CHANGE 2
Saturday pm session
Convenor: Marshall Rosenberg
Recorder: Mukti Khanna
Others present: 25 approx.
The group checked in on what might be of service to them in the next hour and a half regarding nonviolent communication and social change
Principles of Nonviolent Communication and Social Change from Marshall
1. Social change needs to start with ourselves
How do we create the world within that we hope to create without? In what ways do I need to change myself? ?
Think of myself as an organization, extend principles to other systems - family, govt. level
Example: How to get two major divisions of my internal world functioning with NVC?
- Dept. of Investment, Dept. of Education within myself
Think of a mistake I made recently- How did I talk to myself when I did that?
In NVC training, come out thinking nothing you did was wrong - we and others were doing the best we knew how to make life more wonderful.
Every moment we have the power to make life more wonderful, every moment of the day. Need to move beyond enemy images.
2. The more clearly I have a life serving vision that is guiding my social change efforts, the more likely I am to get it out in the world.
If you want to build a ship, don't delegate up the work, teach men to yearn for the endless sea. This gives you the vision to sustain through challenges. When this vision is driving us on, we have enormous power.
Margaret Mead, " Never doubt that a small group of committed people can change the world, indeed it is the only thing that ever has."
Slide presentation "Giraffes around the world" -Sri Lanka, Israel, Africa
3. How do we invest our energies moment by moment? (Division of Investment)
Many of us have been educated in dominator culture; Creep theory of Correction makes people hate themselves or what they have done
Do we put energy into saving ourselves or changing the system? (Babies in river)
Where do we invest our energies in social change - radical vs. peripheral change?
Interconnectedness - whatever we do is connected to the whole
2 quotes "It's not your job to solve the problem, it's your job to do what you can do that would help."
Gandhi "Anything you can do is insignificant, nor are you free not to try"
Group comments - we may not be conscious of the effect we are having on others in a positive and empowering sense
4. What is the basic unit of giraffe dance? All social change is a result of making life more wonderful.
Marshall states that he doesn't try to get people to "stop:" doing anything, but to get clear about what they do want.
Most people will not give up what is meeting your needs until you see a better way of meeting your needs. Change occurs when people are able to see a better way of making life more wonderful that is less costly.
We still might carry old stuff because many of us are a product of an "old" education.
5. How to get your family functioning in harmony with the vision
Is the team itself functioning in harmony? How you relate to your own allies is important! A lot of energy may go into putting out fires in the team sharing the vision
Vs. working in the actual community
Are you holographically representing what you are after? Can we live the change ourselves, in ourselves and then with colleagues? Are we able to live the processes we are trying to create?
The more we do it ourselves, creates a powerful attractive energy
6. Role of Celebration in Social Change
Express and acknowledge gratitude to one another and self vs. if you come out of the energy of "horror" what that does to people, take time to celebrate what we are able to do vs. coming our of a crisis mentality
When we are coming from our vision, we need to build in celebration into life and social change work -increases power and creativity
7. How do we invest our energies with all that needs to be done?
Need to get access to key people who are making decisions
NVC-how to make the best use of short periods of time
How to start Dialogue quickly - Al Schappell case
Start by making a clear request of the other person; have them ask you what they need to know to give you what you want
Whatever is done, we want it to come out of Energy in service to life.
Identify needs, find other ways to get needs met that are life serving.
Much thinking that is not really life serving comes out of being educated in a Dominator Culture.
Start change within ourselves, don't think you have to be "perfect:" before you can start working in and for community and systemic change.
Mahatma Gandhi "Be the change you want to see in the world".