Blog: Bob Wentworth

Marshall Rosenberg wrote, "In our development toward a state of emotional liberation, most of us experience three stages in the way we relate to others." He labeled these three stages as (1) "emotional slavery," (2) "the obnoxious stage," and (3) "emotional liberation." In recent years, I have become increasingly concerned that we NVC trainers have often been ineffective in supporting people to transition between the latter two stages. (continued)

I have an idea that there are several orientations to relating to self and others which are relevant as people learn NVC and deepen their practice: Enmeshment, Independence, and Interdependence. (continued)

A group of collaborating NVC trainers have released a "Proposal to expand access, inclusion and equity in the NVC Network." At the time of this writing, the proposal has been endorsed by 120 trainers, from 32 countries. (continued)

A while ago, a colleague brought to my attention a lengthy essay comparing a communication practice called "Clean Talk" with Nonviolent Communication (NVC). Here, I offer a  response to that essay. (continued)

Practicing Nonviolent Communication (NVC) generally helps us connect to people instead of alienating them. Yet, as valuable as the insights of NVC are, without additional awareness, it’s still quite possible to inadvertently alienate, particularly when we speak to people who are less accepted by the mainstream than we are. (continued)

Human beings generally want to enjoy life and not suffer.  Many traditions agree that these outcomes depend on how we relate to what we experience.  “Focusing” is the name that philosopher Eugene Gendlin gave to an innate human capacity for engaging with our experience in ways that contribute to life “carrying forward” in satisfying ways. (continued)

[A response to a question by someone wanting to understand why they had a sense of having multiple arguing voices inside]

What you are describing is, in some ways, not surprising. Most people, if they pay careful attention, can notice different voices inside themselves, different parts of their psyche, which seem to have different ideas and personalities. And, tragically, most people have at least one voice that can be very harsh (continued)

In graduate school, I became an expert on lasers, devices that produce intense beams of exceptionally pure light. So, it's only natural that I sometimes use lasers as metaphors for how our minds work. I find the metaphor useful in understanding why some of us suffer as much as we do, and in charting a course towards more delightful ways of being. (continued)

"It's human nature, so it's inevitable" is NOT the answer. Human beings have a wide range of behaviors, which nature prepares us to be able to engage in. Humans can be loving, collaborative, and mutually supportive and can also be aggressive, combative, and treat people as if they are subhuman "others." What type of behavior people actually engage in is strongly affected by culture and context. It's not just nature... (continued)